Missing Children


Yesterday was the first time since becoming a father that I’ve slept at our home without our two children being present. It was odd to me. I kept looking around for them, expecting to bump into them or thinking I had to keep quiet because one of them was sleeping in a room I’d walk by. Sure, we had the peace and quiet many parents would envy, but I did not have peace and quiet in my heart.

What on earth would possess me to not enjoy a house without our kids? I honestly think it’s the Father’s Love. I realized I’d rather have our children with the mess and demands they bring. I realize I was missing our children being around, making lots of noise, and calling my attention. For a brief moment, I had a glance of what “empty nesters” probably feel like if they had had a good relationship with the children they raised.

When I was younger, I enjoyed being married without children. We as a couple could do practically whatever we wanted. I secretly feared the unknown of a house with one or more kids. What would the addition of little human beings mean? Loss of free time, loss of space, loss of privacy? All the above! But now that I have two kids, I enjoy them so much I’m happy to lose some freedom to have their presence with me. Once in a while our yearning for freedom from the distractions and demands of others is justified, but most of the time it is merely a form of sanctified selfishness.

Don’t get me wrong. I can make myself enjoy freedom from distraction and demands. But as a father, I don’t want to. This insight gave me a revelation into the heart of the Trinity at the moment of Creation. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit didn’t need us, so why did He create us? He knew the trouble we would create for Him. He had a perfectly happy community within the Trinity. There was no rebellion, no mess, no complaining. He could have stayed in a perfectly empty universe and enjoyed peace. Jesus would not have needed to come and redeem humanity with His blood sacrifice on the Cross. The Holy Spirit would not have had to leave Heaven to be with the redeemed for these last 2000 years. It would have been perfect for God, but also perfectly selfish.

Love means putting others first above our comfort, our convenience, and yes, our own freedom to do whatever we want to do. Love would rather have the pain to enjoy the presence of someone it loves. This is why God created us. He didn’t need us. He knew we’d be a pain to Him sometimes, given our freewill and all the easily misused and abused power it implies. Some of us would make a royal mess for God – such as unjustly blaming Him and blaspheming His Name.

Yet He puts up with us all because of the Father’s Love. God the Father would rather have us kids around than enjoy a life of perfect peace and comfort. He’s willing to have children who hurt Him, but He is not willing to have children who hurt other children in Heaven. Apparently He also draws the line with those who hurt the Holy Spirit. Jesus said, “And everyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven.” (Luke 12:11-12) God is willing to put up with a lot, as long as it doesn’t damage others also. This makes sense, because I am willing to put up with changing a baby’s diaper, but I’m not willing to put up with a son who hurts my daughter and vice versa. That is not allowed in my home!

God’s Love would rather walk through a bit of mess with you till you are born again, grow up and believe the best of your Heavenly Father. You will never find any fault with God. No matter how someone may try, not one accusation against God will stick once all the evidence is out. God is a good and loving Father, and He has been willing to put up with the pain we bring Him, so He can bring us to salvation and spiritual maturity in Christ.

To be God is to be Love. Love is willing to enter into a relationship that you know can create you a lot of trouble, yet you go into it anyway, believing the best of the other person’s potential. Love offers people an opportunity to grow and change until they refuse to. God will give us a chance to walk according to His ways till the day we die, then and only then it becomes too late if we died rejecting Him. A God who won’t love as much as an earthly father would just isn’t really God. So it’s so easy to know who is the real God – the One who has the Father’s heart for you.

P.S. Where were my children last night? What was their reaction when they saw us again? That will be the next chapter in my blog….

COMMENT PLEASE: Do you feel the Father’s Love for you more after reading this post? In what ways can you apply the Father’s Love to your situation?

  • XTP

    The “Father’s Love” as shared here in this blog would be a key ingredient to our lives. Imagine living like this and being aware of the Father’s Love as I live through each day. It sets me on much liberty and freedom in the Lord. It helps especially when it comes to team work. :)

    • http://Cioccolanti.org/ Steve Cioccolanti

      How wonderful to discover more freedom in your life through a short blog post! I’m privileged to share it w you. It’s good to be FREE.

  • http://www.facebook.com/luckmans Luckman Noto Sugiarto

    I have been through some of those painful moments in my relationships with friends or my own family which stretched my patience and endurance to the point of giving them up, but in the end the joy that I could reap as I worked out the relationship were so precious that it lasted in my memory until today. I believe our heavenly Father created us to enjoy relationships on this earth with our dear ones and also at the same time required us to work it out.
    It is undeniable that relationships can, at one time, inflict tremendous pain and heartache, however on the other side of the coin the real meaning or purpose of life can only be found in our relationship with others.

    • http://Cioccolanti.org/ Steve Cioccolanti

      You’re a faithful friend, Luckman. God bless you with the relationships you dream of.

  • http://bloominchurch.wordpress.com/ Bloom Where You Are Planted

    “Once in a while our yearning for freedom from the distractions and demands of others is justified, but most of the time it is merely a form of sanctified selfishness…”

    I didn’t think of it this way, but it’s so true! I always value “me time” so much that it’s probably selfishness. It’s not a loss of freedom, but it’s about selflessness and putting God’s love and others first. 

    Thanks for sharing! 

  • Thada

    yes i feel the love of God more after reading this post.
    why because sometime i tened to forgot that God love me so much and He know my thought, He know everything that i like and don’t like. soemtime i try to work my own way try to get the thing that i want without asking God first “is it the right way?”

    Until i read this post i can hear God speaking into my heart that
    “if you know that i love you so much. you will know that i know everything about you and i am doing my best to give the best to you, but it’s all upto you that you want to receive it or not? trust Me i know what is the best for you and if you receive it, you will give thanks to me for sure” God said

    God also refer to me about my family that i love them so much and i have a great plan for their life, but they tened to acknow my word as like as i acknow to God’s word also.

     what i will apply after reading this post?

    i will stop running around to get the thing that i want, but i will asking God for His plan in what i really need to do at this time and do it for His love is amazing and His plan is a blessing and the best for my life.

    when i stop acknow God’s word and follow His footstep that when my family also will stop acknow my word and start to follow my direction too.

    • http://Cioccolanti.org/ Steve Cioccolanti

      That’s it, Thada!
      You’re on the right path, keep it up!