Increase Your Chances of Making Friends (How to Make Friends)


We all need love, but we also need friends. There’s a lot of talk about relationship and dating, but not much on friendship. How do we make good friends? Here are a few words of advice. Pick which one matter to you most.

Friends not only know each other, but they also know each others’ friends. If you believe you know someone well, but don’t know who their friends are, more likely you don’t know them yet. You can know a lot about a person by the people they choose to surround themselves with.

If you date someone, “date” their friends, too. What I mean is, don’t just go out on dates alone, but date your friend in a group context. FInd out who their friends are and why they like each one. And if someone is dating you but are not interested in your friends, then they are not really interested in you as a complete package yet. They like something about you, but have not made the effort to get to know you beyond a “you and me only” level. Perhaps in the initial novelty phase of a courtship that will satisfy, but in a long-lasting relationship, good friends will want to know each others’ friends.

Friends don’t need to try to convince. Friends don’t need much persuasion. Yes, friends differ in opinion, but friends like similar things and share similar interests. C.S. Lewis said friends are sort of like two people walking along a path and turning to their side to find, “O! There you are!” We both happen to like similar activities and the shared interest creates a mutual bond. The more activities you do with someone, the more friendship bond is created – quite naturally. It’s not forced or coerced. It should not seem akward and contrived. Just go out an find an interest, get involved in some activities – church is a great place to start – and you will instantly make some new friends! Then find out who their friends are, and if they want to know who your friends are, then you both are on your way to building a good friendship!

I’ll share more thoughts on friends as I’m inspired. Your friend who shares an interest in Blogging activity!

YOUR COMMENTS: How did you find your best friend? What do you share in common?
What relationship tips do you have to share?



  • trotaire

    Along the journey of relationships, I've discovered that a healthy friendship is not need-based, but interest-based. Your blog helps to define it better for me. Thanks!

  • Guitarist

    It's so true. Part of this reminds me of a book I was thinking about recently from Gary Chapman (Author of The 5 Love Languages) "Things I wish I'd known before we got married." The last chapter described the "dating game" so well: people are linked by common interest.

    Now I've learnt that instead of only going "deeper" with friendships, I can also go "wider" and explore their circle of friends. (sounds like google+!)

  • lc

    ‘And if someone is dating you but are not interested in your friends,
    then they are not really interested in you as a complete package yet.’  I can’t agree with this more.

    Actually, that was the first thing I was looking for on my boyfriend – the first time he came to our church fellowship, I didn’t talk to him much on purpose and gave him lots of time talking to others and watched how he engaged with the friends and families that I value dearly in my life.

    And I am so glad that he enjoys them and likes them as much as I do. As I believe that if you say you like someone but you don’t like the friends they like, think twice that he likes you and think twice before you step in a relationship with him.

  • Steve Cioccolanti

    LC is putting this advice to practice with her new boyfriend. We recently had dinner with them. I see these lessons put to action in this young couple’s life!