Cure for the Insecure



I told you that yesterday was the first time I woke up without my children in my house. Where were they? We had to entrust them to their grandmother for one night because the following morning, we knew we would get up early to go to a funeral they couldn’t attend.

After an emotional night for this father who misses his children, and an emotional day of this pastor who officiated a beloved church member’s funeral, I couldn’t wait to see our 2 kids. When we arrived at grandmother’s house, I expected the children to run up to me with open arms (at least the one that could run, the other one is mainly strapped to a baby seat). How did Alexis and Austin respond? Like they hadn’t missed us at all!

I was glad to see their reaction. Since the night before to the time we picked them up, they hadn’t once cried, whined or asked where Papa and Mama were. I took this as a good sign for a few reasons.

Compared to how I was when I was a kid, they were far more secure and well-behaved than me. My security came after I met Christ and took God the Father as my Heavenly Father. The Father’s love is very real, and it is the only cure to the insecure.

Let’s get back to my kids. I wasn’t offended they didn’t miss me after being away one day. In fact, I have been gone on missions for as long as 2 or 3 weeks, and when I came back, they both acted like I had never left. (Of course they were a little more excited to see me after I was gone for a longer time. They do love me!) But I am proud of the fact that my children do not whine, cry and carry on when I am away. It tells me:

They have been loved enough by us to be completely secure.
They have zero fear of abandonment and rejection.
They completely trust us to be gone and to come back.

I believe this is how Jesus wants us to be. He has proven His love in so many ways, we should never be insecure. He should be able to leave us for 2000 years and come back to find children who are secure in His love. He has revealed the Father’s love through His words. He has revealed His love through His action – giving His life for us on the Cross and going through Hell as our substitute. He exceeded all religious expectation by giving the Holy Spirit to live inside of us. Who could have imagined a better or more personal gift? Now we are to live securely in that constant, abiding love.

Yes, we miss Jesus, as children should miss their parents. But we should not live in cringing fear or a sense of loneliness. If we are Christian, we are never ever alone, “because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Romans 5:5b).

COMMENT PLEASE: Can you trace the root of insecurities in your life? Was it because of a lack of love?
If you have been cured for being insecure, share how it happened – I’d love to know!

  • trotaire

    I think parents need to be cured of their insecurities before they cure the insecurities of their children. 

    I think you had an unusual response when you said you are glad to see that they don’t miss you. Insecure parents would not have felt the same, they want to be wanted.

    • Steve Cioccolanti

      It is true that the cure for insecure children is first secure parents.

      If you don’t have that, it’s not too late. God is a secure Heavenly Father. Those are saved can enter into the day-to-day awareness of sonship!

  • Na Kim

    It is for sure that ” the insecurity came from lack of love ” If they don’t get this love from Jesus everyday  They will have no patience to their love ones. Their love has become cold.  

    We can find out easily through the one that live with them. That is the evident telling that” their insecure has came back and they will go and find anyone that listen to them and show similar insecurity. they start to become oneness in their insecure. They thought this is from God that bring us together,
    instead of going to God and spend most of the time cry to God for help and give time to God to solve this insecurity. They want quick fix.

    This insecurity can be loneliness,  financial problem,  relationship not work out such as marriage relationship
    The devil use the same trick to christians and non christian.
    one example to non christian that is my own my brother. He  was not saved.He was told that you will be my husband bc. the high above ( Ong – in Thai) has chosen him. He believed and he left his wife and children.
    He did not take anything with him. bc. the girl has everything for him.

    Another example is, both are  christians, I met this couple 2 or 3 months ago both are married couple. and both have marriage problem, the man himself with  marriage problem try to help to solve the  marriage problem to the wife of another family for a long period of time, It ended up both of them left their own family and going to get married.

    They have not yet solve their problem, instead they ran away from their problem and both of them felt this is from God.

    The root of problem is insecure and   they never know how to solve the problem. 
    The result is,  it will happen again. It is a pattern of generation.
    and it will happen again to the next relationship bc. they want quick fix.

    We must ask Jesus to help to reveal this insecure and how to solve it,  it might take time but be patient and rest in him.

    • Guitarist

      That’s really insightful.